Fate Is Cruel

Fate Is Cruel~ SK Monger 

 I was by then only five years old when I was admitted to the newly launched Kindergarten, a five miles away school from my villa. I couldn't walk like the strong boys do, trotting like a well-built horse. Girls were by my side but only when I got something to offer them, such were them . I tholed a lot to complete my Pre-Primary schooling. As me being a girl who have to walk a long distance, I was exhausted and fatigued. When I felt hungry, I ate those maize corn packed in a shawl which my mother used to wrap me when I felt cold when I was yet a toddler . I haven't got that privilege to be with my father that other children get. When enquired my mom usually warned me not to ask it again but the fact is still confidential and mysterious. 

 With constant persistent and eternal endurance, I completed my Primary Schooling and got transferred to the Middle Secondary School which is yet afar. I was all the time isolated, not had confidence to approach others and my own life. I never knew why those senior boys were attracted to me and persuading me time and again. 

Some even went to the extent of touching the private parts mechanically and says rather sarcastically, "She got nesh and shaped fleshy butts. " Being a girl , an effortless to confront and protect, fell the victim of such heartless creature, just the difference is they lacked horns. 

 The mundane seventh period was just over and I was putting my books inside my bag when Yoezer, a firm boy in our class who keeps on insisting me that he loves me - one of the famous clichés of the present world, compelled me physically hard towards his broader chest and kissed on my trembling lips and caressed my pre-maturing breasts. I couldn't do anything other than shedding my tears with full of embarrassment. 

The other mates seem to have entertained the scene bulging their eyes and providing synical laugh causually without condolence. I came home hurt and lamented. That moment was the first time I was victimised physically but I couldn't do anything other than shedding my tears with full of shame. 

 "*Bumo*(Baby)....what happened to you? All your cheeks are red." Asked my Ama who was preparing Suja, an autochthonic and churned tea which is a mixture of butter and salt, in a sooth-rich oven. 

 "Nothing *Ama*(Mom)...it might be because of the heat" I lied though emotionally I was deeply saddened by the brutal ill-treatment which seemed to have reached on my vocal cord. 

 "*Aii ena?*(Oh! Is it?) Then how was your day? She asked in a charming voice, so soothing in ears and heart. 

 "Good *Ama*(Mom). And what about you? " I enquired her back; puffing. 

 "*Aphaa - rida - lu - shing - thuwar -johi*(I went to the nearby forest to collect firewood)"she replied pausing each word of the sentence. "Then drink this tea." She offered. 

 "*Tub Ama*(OK mom) " I took the Suja and sipped it mindfully. After that I went to my cell to undress my gown. I felt very poorly. I felt peracute pain on the gorges of my thighs and above the hips and my body seemed to be overruled by fever, gone erubescent due to physiological process going on inside my body. I was certain that I was going through the intrinsic and intricate period so-called Menstruation. As a poor lass , no proper pads to prevent the on flow of blood, I wrapped it up by the piece of torn trousers as I have seen my mother doing during her period as we couldn't afford to buy a new pack of pads. Such a vile life! 

 The massive sky felt on me when my *Ama*(Mom) left me alone in this bitter world on the gloomy day of November. I couldn't continue with my schooling therefrom. I was given heavy responsibility for taking care of our home, animals and lands. On one fine day, about five years after, a handsome lad about twenty of age came and asked if he can marry me. He seemed to have hailed from an affluent family. His name is Sonam Tshering. I was readily persuaded by him and complied to take him as my groom in oder to live happily, as I cannot sustain alone assimilating the harsh social discrimination of the society. 

I thought my sorrows and melancholia are gone for good and dawned the escatsy in the form of husband-wife relationship. On cool Wednesday morning, we left Sakteng on a van cab for Thimphu after locking up my big east-faced door and handing over the cattle to the neighbours. I finally bid adieu to the meadow-rich villa of Sakteng as if I will never return. The climatic conditions in this new region doesn't vary much but the settlement does. 

Many clustered houses and automobiles of various sorts seem to be in this different world . My village does have huts and at the most two-storied house. But the vehicles are never to be seen. On the way, I was exalted to pass through the mere underground tunnel at (PHPPA)Wangdue , snow fully covered Dochu La pass adorned with one-hundred and eight stupas and finally the massive stout sculpture of Buddha Shakyamuni at the heart of whole Thimphu Valley facing east with pride in the lotus position. I one day wanted to visit this site. 

 "Dema, are you okay?" He asked, smelled the rat. 

 "Oh...yeah!" I replied. 

 "OK, do not worry and indulge yourself with these thrashy stuffs. You will going to get acquainted very soon." He patted on my shoulder and smiled. 

 Finally we reached the cab parking above the terminal building known as RSTA Thimphu, adjacent to the bus depot. 

"Here we are, finally" He says with sigh of relief. 

 "Where is your home? Let's go" I insisted. 

"Haha....not too fast. First let us roam and explore yourself to this city life, okay Babe?" He proposed. 

 "Roaming and all we can do tomorrow. Let's rest today, am exhausted. And then mind that am not baby, am grown up" I re-proposed.

 "Haha....meant sweetheart or darling. Rest you can do at hotel and for now let us visit the Buddha Point for blessing, is this all right?" He suggested. 

 "OK then, let's go fast so that we can return early."I suggested, embarrassed for not comprehending the modern based new terminology. 

 "Huh! Don't be stupid." He frowned, raising his black, thick eyebrows a centimeter or two. We travelled through Changzamtog Bridge aloft bus depot and followed the Thimphu-Phuntsholing Highway until we reached fly over bridge near Lungten Zampa. We ascended the hill with the necessities and finally did we conquer it. After the prayers we vowed and came outside. 

 "Hey Dema? Let us have selfie!" He exclaimed. I never knew what is selfie and doubted whether selfie is an English vocabulary or not? 

"What is selfie?" 

 "Haha...snapping the photographs" 

 "OK then." He snapped the photos from various angles and in different postures. Sometimes, kissed me and occasionally hugged me from behind that heated me up. Finally, the sky altered dark from grey and snow fell integrated with shower or drizzle. 

We speedily descended down the hill and made presence to the expressway. Many local cabs flied, maximum without a passenger. Every driver craned their heads outside from the window and request the pedestrians to travel by their taxis in no avail. We too huddled ourselves inside a local Santro cab that came from Khasadrapchhu Town. With no time we reached to a hotel in Central Thimphu. 

He held my hands and took me to the hotel for a brass monkeys night. I couldn't reminisce the name of the hotel. 

"Hotel rooms are more comfortable than ours." He said erubescently. 

 I felt ever so different and uneasiness prevailed in my sensation. 

 "Is there any room free?" He asked the manager in the counter. 

 "Yes. Last one, lucky guy!" Replied the manager handing over the room keys to him and continued, "It's upstairs, second room! " I did not know what the manager meant when he said you're a lucky guy. 

He held my left hand and took to the room. It's very superb room indeed, adorned with colourful postures and paintings on the wall. It was spacious with a bed(with thick eiderdown and chinese quilt) and a table. I finally settled myself on the bed and reposed. He too, after consuming a number of bottles of beer, jumped on the bed and licked my face and then his hands ran against my body from the neck towards the navel and finally my private parts. I endured his massages with utter escatsy. I was in utter dilemma what to do next, whether what I did was right or not. But eventually I was convinced that what I did is right because am married, after all. 

I went to the bathroom and took shower. The nightly hours got exhausted within a wink of a second. Early in the morning , we woke up and had breakfast; a usual red rice with ema datshi. Then followed the pathway through Sunday Vegetable Market (SVM) and Changangkha Bridge and finally to the cottage in the hill. His home was very stout and spacious. 

 "Is this your home?" I enquired him with bated breath. 

 "Not mine, ours!" He said playing with my long ebony hair. The conversation was cut in by a phone ring, over the horizon. 

 "Hello.....OK...am coming, just wait a minute!" He replied the anonymous in the phone. "Dema...sorry. I have an urgent appointment and have to leave." With this he left the room. I didn't know what sort of appointment he had. 

It was difficult to acclimatise myself to the new domicile embellished with latest technology. I didn't know how to cook curry on the curry cooker as we normally used steel or zinc pot to cook food, I was green. With hardship, I cooked food and ate which were nearly burnt. I too kept some for him on the oven. I switched on the TV and watched for sometime and then washed his cloths which were left unwashed for about two weeks manually on the tap as I couldn't operate washing machine. 

The dogs barked and the day was gradually altering pale and could view the spectacular twilight approaching into existence. I hung over to him but there was no sign of him coming. The day finally entered the era of dusk and the bugs started to produce different pitched-sonority resonating and echoing. I started hearing my own resonance, my heart beat increased and mine intelligence governed by dreadful trauma. 

 Finally, hah, I heard the door being knocked. I was nigh on the point of sleeping. I hurried to the door and opened it. Startled, really astonished, it was out of my expectations! There was mine handsome husband smilingly on the door, standing. Glad, really lamented and felt like melted to the floor. He wasn't alone but with a girl by his side. 

ALAS! "Who is she? " She inquired before I could question. 

 "Haha...she is mine servant brought recently during the outing" He said and smiled uneasily. Servant? I was confounded. 

 "Ah...I am..." 

"Oii(Hey!)...I'm your madame, did you get me?"She cut before I could complete my say. My ma'am? I was really agitated by her pride and felt like giving her a moreish slap on her blemished face because she mayn't have experienced and furnishing him a nice donkey kick on his nuts, so he actualize his blooper. 

I couldn't say anything but just frowned with sorrow in my fragile heart. Tears in my eyes were dropping like a Nigeria Fall spontaneously as I couldn't stand for the reality. I was lost through! 

 "Dema?" He said but I didn't respond to his question. 

"Hello Miss?"She poked me hard with her skinny elbow, " from today you will do as I say" She commanded authoratively. Painful tears sprang from my eyes profusely. I couldn't decide whether to go out of the hell or live like an under dog whose authority and freedom is being snatched , even it cannot defend itself for its own personal safety. 

Finally, I convinced myself to break out of this dungeon to a far away forlorn isle but failed to do. I decided to go back to Sakteng but I thought I will be obviously made a play of fun , so I decided to stay at Thimphu only.

 "Dema...where are you going?"He asked me from the balcony. 

 "I am going to my own world. I will go wherever my fate takes." I replied clutching my own heart. 

 "This home is yours , too!"He shouted back. 

"No...never and will be never! This home is not meant for me. Stay with your own coveted queen." I barked at him who was staring down from the balcony. 

 For the last time I looked back and bid adieu because at least a day, it gave me comfort. It was almost 7: 30 P.M. So, I dijudicated to settle myself at Changangkha bridge. The next day I travelled the realms of Thimphu searching for a local job nevertheless, girls are yet looked upon as incapable of doing. I didn't get! I was enervated by roaming the City like a stray dog. It was around 5 o'clock and the weather around was quite disgusting. I felt ever so weary. 

I went to the corner of the market, where an elderly man was on the process of wrapping his products. 

 "*Acho*(Brother)...can you please afford to give me a kilo of apple?" I requested, wrapping my hands around my belly as pain at my right side of the stomach was escalating in severity.  

After a minute or two, he handed over the product to me and said, "It's hundred Ngultrum only" as if punching the market price on the packages. 

 "*Acho*(Brother)...for now I don't have money, can you be so kind enough to give me free of cost? I will perhaps be aide in future in urgent field. I am so hungry." I pleaded and what is more, tried to persuade. I begged a kilo of apples that maybe sufficient enough to keep me alive for some unknown odd days, which are yet to come. 

 "Haha...don't joke and be ridiculous. How can I afford to give you free of cost when I am buying for Nu. 90 per kilo?" He smiled dirtily and sarcastically. 

 "*Acho*(Brother)...please!" I begged integrating two hands one kneeling my knees to the cold cemented-floor. 

 "*Chhit*()...stupid rascal....do I need to call police or you will hand over those to me?"He menaced me, more aggressively casting himself fierce like the Mahakala which can be even seen in such dim light. "Police?" I was afraid. I twirled around to see if they are around, loitering like a stray dog. Unfortunately, I could see a squad of police officers in blue suits lingering around as if ready to poke their noses whenever the opportunity permits declaring themselves the virtue of power. 

"No...no...no.... No need to call them."I handed over the apples embedded by black polythene plastic bag back to him who snatched so quick like a robber. 

 "What a bad luck?" He muttered showing his dirty looks and covered his products with blue thick polythene plastic. I went to next compartment where an elderly woman was about to retire. 

 "Auntie , can I have a kilo of apples?" I postulated. 

 "Oh...am about to leave. If you need, OK. "She replied courteously, she seemed to be a kind woman. 

 "This is for you " She handed over the apples wrapped by white plastic bag. 

"But, Auntie, I don't have money. I am feeling very hungry." I said scratching my head, embarrassed. 

 "*Ya!*(Oh!) Is it? But I can't give you free of cost because I too bought them and I too earning for living. But if you are really hungry, have these. " She handed over some apples flawed by some dotted pimples. I too gave those kilo of apples back to her. She smiled and left. 

 I too with few apples on my hand and an apple in my mouth left SVM in search of shelter. I travelled but nobody gave me any. I went to the former Changangkha Bridge and finally settled myself there. No passers-by gazed at me but the dogs did. Humans are such damn-less that they are flat chat in their own BS world. But, at least, for a brass monkeys night, dogs around gave me company by licking my face occasionally and driving away the superstitious sorceress and nefarious or malicious stuffs by barking the whole chilly night.